Etiquette dating texting
There’s discomfort on all sides, whether you are making the first move, waiting for a reply, responding, or directly saying “no thanks.”When the other person is not physically present, it’s easier to do nothing rather than face the discomfort of communicating interest, letting someone down, or breaking the rules of the game. Perhaps what is missed is a night out with a person you’d genuinely like to get to know.There’s also the energy lost in deliberating over timing and content to craft the perfect casual text. “Should” questions and statements often guide us away from our values and what we want in life, shifting our mindset from what we think to worry about what others think.
Something that is suppose to be hurmous sarcasm may be interpreted as rude.With the spirit of hookup culture—play it cool—guiding texting behavior, no one wants to be the first to express interest, state preferences, or communicate needs.Doing so requires risk and vulnerability, with the possibility of interest being unrequited.If someone you like texts you, a text back can communicate trust and care to that person, increasing their positive emotions associated with hearing from you.If you decide to end a texting relationship with another person, consider that the discomfort of not knowing where he or she stands could be more distressing and energy-draining than knowing you’re no longer interested.A text back too soon may signify a surrender—losing the game of emotional chicken characteristic of the early stages of modern texting and dating.
Taking that risk can be scary, especially in a dating environment where it’s not cool to care. Our shying away from discomfort means shutting out other opportunities that come with it.
However, if the text is too long and you are babbling on about subject matters that has nothing to do with your date, it can be an immediate turn-off. Do not over-text Keep it low-key to begin with otherwise your behaviour can be interpreted as being desperate. Think of celebrities who have all been burnt by embarrassing sex tapes that have been made public.
As the relationship progresses, you can slowly increase the frequency of communications in order to plan things together and ultimately to send love messages. It might be on a lesser scale but equally embarrassing if it falls into the hands of friends and family. Women can often see late night texts as simple booty calls and find them extremely insulting. Breaking up with someone by text is pure and simple bad manners. If at all possible, deliver the bad news in person or at the very least in a phone conversation.
Where it has been easy to stay comfortable behind our screens, we can choose to use texting as an effective and fun tool for connection and expression.
The point of that short, extremely sad, little tale is this: We have become so programmed to accept texts as the main form of communication, that when the guy we like actually calls to ask us out on a date, we are a little taken aback.
And what's worse, we may even revere said guy as some sort of God for actually doing, let's be honest, what he's supposed to do.